HANDLING PERSONAL PROBLEMS

A PROBLEM SHARED IS HALF SOLVED OR 90% COMPOUNDED
This week edition has much to do with the challenge we face in life how to cope with them and how best we can solve them.

THE PROBLEM SHARED
Individuals who seek advice on an issue feel so much relief after the discussion but sometimes worst still. One could get relief if the other had an experience on such, had read a book on it or had about such a problem and as such could give an advice on the way out of the problem. One could also be encourage going home with feeling that such problem is not particular to him or better still one found a partner who could work hand in hand towards solving this problem. At the same time he could get a direct solution even at that point of discussion.

BEEN COMPOUNDED
The problem most teenagers have is the problem of how to cope with their problem until it is solved. We judge thing so much on the immediate impact on us and we don’t take time to watch that we may know what exactly the problem is and from what source it is.
At the beginning of any psychotherapy, clients usually expect that the therapist will find an answer to all possible problems in life. This is most times not the case as they sometimes go home confused. The irony of it is that problems most time become more complicated instead of been solved when we discuss them, though this complication could sometimes be avoided when a selective discussion is made with a cancellor or one’s friends or family. One should keep in mind here that discussion with a therapist or a cancellor should be detailed, direct and not been selective or been biased. A biased discussion bring more complicated problem as one may be tempted to adopt a path in the suggested solution which is not best or even not in line with the original idea, though when dealing with a business idea one may find it difficult to discuss to details so selective discussion cold be made in this case but the action that will follow an suggested solution should also be with a consideration of the fact that a selective discussion has been made .
The most skeptical area is that area of a discussion with a friend since even when the friend wish to understand all about the problem completely it is by nature not possible. A complicated ethical problem can only be fully understood in the light of the way each person is, however full also his/her fellowship with the other person could be. As a matter of fact the lost of comfort when one feels a friend is aware of the problem discussed could be the only outcome of this discussion. In the course of therapy a client learn to find the solution for his problem by himself.
One of the reasons for the imbalance in our ethical judgment is that our perspective is restricted and distorted by the effect on our judgment of the inescapable inwardness which is a feature of our finite natures.
Though we do have much rich and intimate association with one another and when we do not understand our situation right or various frustrations makes us impatient and anxious we are apt to seek that sort of immediate contact with other person which by nature is precluded for us. A friend cannot know you more than you know yourself or God knows you. Even when he wish to penetrate the lnner citadels of you to be able to have a full understand of the problem he can’t infact accomplish this. It is not just difficult it is inheritably impossible.

                                               WHAT SHOULD I DO?
IDENTIFY THE PROBLEM
Dudu is a student in UNAB, he is a drunkard a smoker a club guy, a humanizer so to say and an all round failure. He is always concerned about his room mate ways of life and performance in class compare to his own. He did not know exactly why he fails in class.

DEFINE YOUR GOAL.                   What exactly did you want to do?
Dudu problem might be clubbing and indeed it is because that is where he get the urge of doing all these comes from. It is left for him to say what he wants to be. Is it that he wants to start living like his born again room mate? He want to start reading or maybe he will stop going to club.

BRAINSTORM YOURSELF        A time to think.
Dudu took a sheet of paper how he can started writing the problem one by one giving priority to the important ones since they are many. He thought so much of what to do maybe he should go to the brother for advice

CONSEQUENCES                       Count the cost of each method to adopt.
If Dudu should tell his room mate how many girls he has charmed for sex in their department he may not trust him again and if he start going to fellowship without telling his room mate he may still go back go smoking and even when he do.

DECISION Decide now.
Dudu finally took the decision of changing his friend and stop attending any social gathering of any kind. If Dudu’s problems turn out to be spiritual he would have sort a spiritual advice so there is no problem without a solution.

IMPLEMENTATION.              Do it.
Dudu stopped and followed his decision


EVALUATE IDD?                    Did it work?
Dud found out that the last method he adopted wor ked best since his mind is always towards reading and not women again. The method recommended above is applicable to all personal problems in life a problem is best solved by using past experience an other problems one has encountered in life but in the case of seeking advice from a companion or a committee one should take a solution given as a suggestion and not to acted on dirrectly moreover one have to seek a spiritual advice